A Letter for my Future 40 Year Old Self

Dear Future Me,

First of all, I want you to know that I write to you, and NOT to my future 30-year-old self because I am pretty much sure, and pretty much hoping that by this time, your time, I am already married and have kids.


Yes, happily married and not divorced.

Just so you can remember, people in my time (your 20’s) have lost their minds. They forgot the value and sacredness of should-be-one-in-a-lifetime event of their life — getting married, that is. Most of them were sucked by the idea that marriage is a just a waste of time and a commitment that should be buried six feet under the ground. People in my days were afraid of commitments. They hate them. They abhor them. Perhaps, they would even get sick and vomit by hearing the idea of it. I remember a vine which I watched a week ago. It has a title of “When she said the ‘L’ word”.Of course, I wondered what that “L” is. So I watched it, and it was about a guy lying beside a girl, when suddenly she told the guy “I think I LOVE you”. Upon hearing the L-word, the guy took a jump from the window and ran off.It was a joke, but was never a good joke. You see, my generation celebrates the idea of no strings attached kind of relationships. They are fond of dating and going out with someone and have sex with them and just stop there. The concept of marriage and its beauty never crosses their mind. I am writing to you, just so you know that once in your life you hated that kind of mentality and just so you know, you were afraid to be part of this flow. You were afraid that you would start to hate the idea of love and replace its definition with sex.

Sex, That’s what people love nowadays. And I assume that in your time it has already become the hobby of many. Let me remind you that love is not sex and that sex is just a by-product of love MARRIED PEOPLE lavish to each other. You knew that. As a matter of fact, you chose to be a virgin until you find the right person and marry her. (Though there were times that you thought of meeting a stranger you knew from the internet and going out and making out with her, since that’s what internet dating is all about I suppose) Going back, may I remind you of your mentality towards virginity. During my time, you thought of virginity as highly elevated as you look upon your dignity. You might be saying right now as you are reading that you were such a loser back then and you wrote a crap, but if you actually said that then I say that you are the loser and not me, because you let your culture dictates who you are going to be and you forgot your principles and values.

Today, the culture says that real men should get drunk, get stoned, get laid and other crap that seemed to be fun but most significantly degrading. The culture, with Hollywood as its main propeller, tries to shape the lives of the young people. It tries to trivialize the idea of marriage and sex and it tries to instill in our minds that divorce and break ups  are okay and should be the trend. As a matter of act, Hollywood is eager to trivialize this as celebrities revealed as to when they lost their virginity. Unfortunately, people commented as if they celebrated the early loss of virginity of these young people. Sadly, society was able to succumb to this idea and it is becoming the norm and that a lot of people are losing their sense of decency.

I can remember, my parents usually say that there was a time when teenagers were forbidden to hold each other’s hands and it’s already bitchy when girls have a boyfriend and when they were caught doing such an act. I am not saying that I agree to that but, what I am trying to establish here is a concept of decency. Because today, the trend is that grade schools are already having their first kiss and that by high school they are already devirginized.

I am writing these things to you to remind you of who you are and to remind you of what you believed, that you were once a man of principles and you hated the fact that culture is becoming more anarchic and that it tries to influence you with its anarchic deeds. You hated the fact that Hollywood promotes crappy ideals and crappy versions of love, virginity, sex and marriage, though you loved their movies and you seriously enjoyed watching them. You thought of marriage, sex and virginity as part of your dignity and associates them with personal honor.

Perhaps, I am saying too much. I hope I didn’t condemn you but rather I was able to inspire. Don’t go with the flow. Rage against the flow! Remember: The trouble with normal is it always gets worse.– Bruce Cockburn.

Love your wife. Be patient with her. Don’t mind that woman who stared at you. You’re just good-looking as usual. Love your kids. Have a quality time with them. It’ll be hard for them to go sweet when they’re already grown ups, you know that. Lastly, always remember, marriage is fun!


Sincerely Yours,

Your 20-year-old self

PS. I wonder what kind of woman my wife will be. I hope that she cooks well. Ugh! Please reply!