Living in the Suburbs

In a 3rd world country like the Philippines, poverty is rampant to the point that everyone literally says that they belong to the base of society’s pyramid, that they are the less fortunate, that they are afflicted, that they are being raped by the most influential, the most powerful and the most rich in the land. Everyone claims that. Even that person seated on a nice comfortable couch has this line. Honestly, That is my script. Or should I say “was”. After I visited my mum the other day, since it was part of my plan during my summer vacation, I was brought to an eye opening fact. And this truth made me realize how jaw dropping the life of these people living in the suburban.

In the morning, we woke up around 7. Since everybody sleeps altogether in the living room, which is also the dining room or sometimes the kitchen, and even everybody’s closet, all are obliged to wake up as early as that first person who decides to get up from the not-so-comfortable comforter which is shared by us, my mom, her husband, her husband’s sister-in-law, her husband’s niece, and another niece, then me. Yes, all six of us slept in that multipurpose room which by the way is approximately 3m by 3m in total area.

Aside from the size and the looks of the place, another thing that I noticed which made me feel guilty of complaining a lot is the meal that was served for us. For breakfast, we were given some slices of bread and a mixture of coffee and milk formula. In the afternoon for lunch, we were served with some fish fried with too much oil. And for the dinner we were given some chicken which were bought in the dirty market already cooked which cost them 2 cents (in US dollars). I was alarmed by this, having in mind that I am with two toddlers who need nutritious meals.

As we were spending the day together, I felt sad for these people. Their only past time is to sleep, stare to the almost wearing television, play with the only toy in the house and eat. So basically, everything is a routine. Wake up. Eat. Watch tv. Take a bath. Play the toy. Eat lunch. Sleep. Wake up. Watch tv. Eat. Play. Go to the neighbor. Go back to house. Eat. Watch tv. Sleep. The thing that will only break this routine is the irregular job of the adults which could include the children, since they can’t be left by themselves in the house.

Reflecting to this, I realized that I have no right to complain about what is happening to me or what is not. Before, I thought that I am missing so much in this life. I have a heart for adventure, like mountaineering, traveling, spelunking and surf boarding, diving into some different culture. I love all these, but I’ve done not even twenty percent of them, and I hated that. But now that I experienced a day with these simple yet cool and funny people, I hate the fact that I hated and complained so much.

Sometimes, we are so much stressed out thinking about the things we haven’t yet done or experienced. We even make plans on how and when to do them. We are giggling in the thought of them -traveling, obtaining gadgets or cars or luxurious houses, partying all night long for three straight days. All of these are not bad in themselves (except for the last one). We should never stop dreaming. It is our right to enjoy life as we know it. It is our right to dream for ourselves. However, perhaps it would be nicer if we will also start dreaming for others.

How about making the homeless smile? How about giving the unfortunate some healthy meal? Or some nice clothes? How about visiting the orphanage? I believe that there is something we can do. Only if we will be willing. How about start doing something today?

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Old and New

Dear Virtual Friends,

I traveled here where I was once. It is where I grew. And when I say “where I grew” I don’t mean the physical growth but rather more of the attitude, the character and the spiritual stuffs.

You see, I haven’t seen these people for like these whole time when I went to college. Even communications we have none, though there’s facebook and phones. And as I stayed here for like 2 days, I realized how I changed, how I become now as a person, how I am now different from them (mostly negative) and how I missed these people so much. Throughout those years when I was away, I really thought that I am becoming way better than them and that I am growing faster than them. I was wrong.

These past few days, when I realized that the people I come to know as new friends are not actually seeing me as how I see them, I was so lonely. I told myself, “I need to talk to someone.” A lot of thoughts entered my mind. It was like a hundred set of percussions are inside my head and all of them are randomly played all at the same time. It was hard. However, coming to this place is such a relief, knowing that these people won’t let go of the thought of me, knowing that I still belong here and that I am still a part of this group.

Perhaps, I just expect a lot from my new group of friends in my new community church, especially to our “life group leader”. I thought I was in the inner circle and I was hoping that I am. Sadly, I wasn’t.

One thing I learned from this, “You can never push your way through to someone’s life and just go away after everything because that is terrible”. I did this to my old friends and my new friends did it to me. It was a lesson learned the hard way.

 

A Decisive Action

Dear Virtual Friends,

 

I really don’t know the sense of putting an addressee above like that. I mean, is anyone ever reading these?

 

Right now, I’m back in Manila and I’m seriously missing the life in province. Perhaps, my apartment is what makes it hard for me. When I got back, everything is messy and it smells awfully. I’m really thinking of moving out. Also there is a friend, not actually, an acquaintance, who invites me to live with him. It’s actually in a dormitory that I used to live in and he’s actually my former roommate.

 

Hmmm…

This calls for a serious and deep thinking.

By the way, I and my roommate (whom I’m living with right now) are reconciled weeks ago and we’re not fighting anymore. Those fights are not my major reason why I’m moving out. They are things to be considered though. Also, I don’t want to move out because of that. That is freakingly terrible. I want to leave this place with a good record. Also, I’ll still be meeting this person at church so seriously, I am not leaving here because I hate him or what. (Wait, why am I so defensive about this!?!)

Reasons for leaving (1) I want to be near school. (2) I’m not comfortable here [not because of the person but the facilities] (3) It’s really unhealthy for me to be here since I eat a lot of fast food (4) I’m about to do my thesis and I want to be with positive people.

 

PS. To those who subscribed and followed my blog because of the photos and the travel and the vacation, first of all I want to thank you for appreciating them photos. I really like traveling and taking photos so I’ll be doing it more often, and also journaling. Stay blessed! Keep on smiling 😀

PSS. I’m moving out. Is that fast? Hahaha

This night is so terrible I don’t know what title is appropriate

But before that: Yehey! Hurray! It turned out that my last post the other day wasn’t really my last post since I am able to write a new one. Hallelujah I am alive! And I am able to live by drinking 2 tablets of vitamins C a day. Hahaha, Isn’t that funny? Or is that freakingly dangerous? Anyway, the good news is I am getting better and that is the most important thing.

On a much serious note, it happened. One of my fears finally happened.

Again, I made a fight with my room mate. It ended in a decision of me seriously getting out of here. I am not yet in the mood to tell it here. My heart is torn between writing it right now while the emotion is still fresh and reviewing for my examsssss tomorrow.

Argh! I really hate arguing with nonsense people, especially when you have a lot of senseful things to do. Good thing I realized that it is nonsense to make this person realize his mistake. The last time we fight was very traumatic so I decided not to offend him anymore. But as I’ve noticed our conversation was like this:

Me: I am wrong here, but you are also wrong in that.

Him: Yes, you’re wrong here! You are completely wrong!

Sigh*

meryl-facepalm

#MegaFacePalm

And I am OUT!

PS. I recorded a part of our conversation. But when he noticed that I was doing that, he stopped. Did he actually realize that I can use it against him? Hahaha. Oh well, time to study.

Status

Might be my last post

I might be dying. I can feel it. It is evident. My senses tell me so. I’m trembling. I’m somehow scared, and somehow glad. I am overwhelmed with my emotions I really can’t tell what I am feeling right now. But I know I am dying. And nobody’s aware of it. I am not telling anybody as for the moment.

Perhaps, this is the downside of being an introvert, you are dying and you can’t tell it to anybody. If there’s an emergency, there’s nobody to ask for help.

I don’t know what to do. I am completely lost. All I think about is that, if I am really dying and my breathe is being taken from me, then, my love, my future wife, I guess I’d rather not seeing you anymore. It would be painful for me knowing that we won’t be together for long. And it would be more painful for me knowing that it would hurt you so much. Of all the people, though we haven’t met yet, you are all that’s in my mind now.

Why is this happening? Am i that evil for God to punish me like this? I know that God is love. I know that He loves humanity that He sent His Son to die for me. But why am I dying so early? So terribly? It’s hard to breathe. I am slowly dying. Seriously.

Sometimes, I might be compulsive

Dear Friend,

Right now, I am here with some people who love to mock me. I don’t take it seriously though. I think they mock me in a positive way if that is even possible. Or is the term “mock” not the right word to say. Should I use the word tease, or deride or make fun? Whichever, it’s fine with me since I also laugh at myself every time they do it because they kinda point out the funny side of me.

By the way, I want to blog something about a latest tease they hurl against me. And honestly, this one’s funny.

It all started few weeks ago. If you’re not yet aware, I am a frustrated musician. I do music and I am trying hard to be good at it. That’s not my problem. I mean, everybody starts as a beginner and nothings wrong with that. My problem was this: it was my first time replacing the strings and I’m not so sure what I was doing. Everything seemed to be a mess. It seemed that I broke my guitar. To cut the story short, I ended up giving up and asking for a friend’s help.

So a week later, that is this week, I and my friend went to a couple of guitar repair shops. The first shop offered us too much without even checking up on the instrument. So we looked for another shop. We walked around until finally, we got there. We entered. Their door has chimes on it. After a few seconds. We left. I was so red. My friend doesn’t want to laugh but it is in his face. He didn’t want to offend me. So I joked, “At least I learned”

What happened was such an epic fail. The man on the shop said, “This is normal, nothing’s wrong here.”

The problem was not the guitar, the problem was me, being compulsive, thinking that I broke it already. I won’t blame my friend who didn’t check the guitar first before joining me to the shop. But I would like to blame him for telling it to this person who is teasing me right now.

It is such an epic fail, I’m laughing so hard.

PS. I guess, I should change the title of my blog since I am somehow being socially active these days. I mean, if that would disqualify me from being an introvert, then I guess I should.

PPS. I also want to start sharing this blog on fb. But I guess I should hide some posts first. *wink

 

Your friend,

Soon-to-be-l’introverti-no-more

Sigh

Normally, a Saturday night is a night to be cherished. But this night, is an exception. This night is not that night. The day was too mortifying that the night seemed not worthy to be cherished at all.

 

PS. Why haven’t I posted this last Saturday! This is so awkward. I’ll publish it anyway.

In Class

Dear Friend,

Of course, this is a common knowledge to all (And I doubt that you don’t know this)– what it would be like to be an introvert inside the seemingly narrow, often noisy, wall-bounded classroom. I’d like to share it though, in the perspective of an introvert.

As far as everyone is not concerned, I am currently an engineering student in an infamous institute. It is an institute whose system largely contributed in making me an introvert.

During high school, i had friends. Yes, I had a few of them. Most of them were fond of me because I was such a funny guy. They enjoyed laughing at me as I make fun of myself. I want to change it in college so I decided to not ridicule myself anymore. The result? Absolutely no friend at all! Added to that is the institute’s implemented system of class sectioning were everyone is free to choose the time slot of every subject. In short, I am that person who don’t have a friend who will say, “Come, let’s choose this section!”.

So here I am in this spot, facing my laptop plugged to the institute’s live wires, typing in behalf of these absolutely happy, though some are like me, having no friend at all, classmates whom I recognize because they were my classmates, in a God-knows-what class which I took before, and they barely don’t know me at a…

I had to stop typing,  because somebody approached me. Her name was Claire and she was my classmate in several of the classes I took before. She’s talkative and her hair is all dried up because of the chemicals she uses to straighten it. She’s beautiful though she’s chubby. But I still hate her hair.

She offered me to join them in lunch so I said, ” Sure, Yeah!” There I met her friend Cha, Jim, and another guy whose name I’ve already forgotten. So I guess this will be a cool class since I was able to develop some friends. I hope.

So my dear friend, don’t be jealous and don’t make some drama because I can’t afford having you as my one and only friend. I hope that someday I will be able to introduce you to them.

Sincerel yours,

L’introverti

Charlie’s Countenance

One typical scenario of an introvert’s life should be seated in a diner, surrounded by a sea of tables and chairs and a bunch of unknown faces.

That is exactly me right now (January 9, 2014, 12:35pm), inside a restaurant, with a lot of people i barely know, all of them having fun, while I am comfortably seated alone in this 6 seater dining table, writing for my new blog 🙂

The countenance of my 1 piece drumstick, a glass of root beer and the comfort given by this yellow fluffy sofa are the very reason why I wanted to stay here for hours.

Before, I really don’t go to a diner alone. That’s why, I seldom go to any diner, because only a few people invites me to go with them, and usually that’s unusual of them to invite me. But, that would be unfair for me because I’ll miss all the food these chains of diners offer. So I said to myself, “I should be going to every diner I can think of, whether I have company or none.

That’s why today, I am here @ ChickenCharlie

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