Old and New

Dear Virtual Friends,

I traveled here where I was once. It is where I grew. And when I say “where I grew” I don’t mean the physical growth but rather more of the attitude, the character and the spiritual stuffs.

You see, I haven’t seen these people for like these whole time when I went to college. Even communications we have none, though there’s facebook and phones. And as I stayed here for like 2 days, I realized how I changed, how I become now as a person, how I am now different from them (mostly negative) and how I missed these people so much. Throughout those years when I was away, I really thought that I am becoming way better than them and that I am growing faster than them. I was wrong.

These past few days, when I realized that the people I come to know as new friends are not actually seeing me as how I see them, I was so lonely. I told myself, “I need to talk to someone.” A lot of thoughts entered my mind. It was like a hundred set of percussions are inside my head and all of them are randomly played all at the same time. It was hard. However, coming to this place is such a relief, knowing that these people won’t let go of the thought of me, knowing that I still belong here and that I am still a part of this group.

Perhaps, I just expect a lot from my new group of friends in my new community church, especially to our “life group leader”. I thought I was in the inner circle and I was hoping that I am. Sadly, I wasn’t.

One thing I learned from this, “You can never push your way through to someone’s life and just go away after everything because that is terrible”. I did this to my old friends and my new friends did it to me. It was a lesson learned the hard way.

 

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