I might be dying. I can feel it. It is evident. My senses tell me so. I’m trembling. I’m somehow scared, and somehow glad. I am overwhelmed with my emotions I really can’t tell what I am feeling right now. But I know I am dying. And nobody’s aware of it. I am not telling anybody as for the moment.
Perhaps, this is the downside of being an introvert, you are dying and you can’t tell it to anybody. If there’s an emergency, there’s nobody to ask for help.
I don’t know what to do. I am completely lost. All I think about is that, if I am really dying and my breathe is being taken from me, then, my love, my future wife, I guess I’d rather not seeing you anymore. It would be painful for me knowing that we won’t be together for long. And it would be more painful for me knowing that it would hurt you so much. Of all the people, though we haven’t met yet, you are all that’s in my mind now.
Why is this happening? Am i that evil for God to punish me like this? I know that God is love. I know that He loves humanity that He sent His Son to die for me. But why am I dying so early? So terribly? It’s hard to breathe. I am slowly dying. Seriously.